I Can Take Myself Dancing

I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand… I can take myself dancing. I can hold my own hand.

This is what happens when all the kids are gone and I decide to go dancing. So I took myself dancing, just me, myself and I.  I can do things alone. Life as a widow is full of a kind of solitude where grief endlessly exists.

In the lyrics of this song it states, “I talk to myself for hours,’ it feels too familiar. A few days ago, my word of the year came to me… FUN. So I decided it’s time to go out and find my fun.  Even though I didn’t have anyone to go with to be my safety net or comfort zone, I went anyway.

I’ve come to live a life where those previous things don’t really exist anymore.  Doing things alone has become the norm. I am thankful for the many ways I’ve grown but will never get used to how alone I feel. It happens too often.  

I won’t let that stop me though, from finding a new fun and happy fulfillment.  Even if the new fullest life lived feels more empty than full like before. I will still live as full as my life can be.  I find my way through the new experiences that bring fulfillment to my life along with the grief.

I’m discovering that there are greater joys in the love of life that to keep giving me hope for more than I knew was possible before.  I know what I am capable of. I can do big, things, you can too.  I am strong and so are you. Live and love.