Goodbyes

Each morning when I drop this boy off for preschool, we have a little dance we go through.  It’s all him of course.  It’s all love… is what it really is.  I say good-bye and blow him a kiss.  I love you, I say.  He blows me a kiss, then another and another.  

He finally gets out of the car and stops, turns around and blows another as he says I love you in sign language.  He backs up from the car, walking backwards towards the school and away from the car.  He’s still blowing kisses, saying I love you and he’s showing it with his hand signs and thumbs ups.  

He’s so filled with the innocence of love and wonder.  He doesn’t stop giving it.  He is so full of it, it flows out of him with ease. He is filled immediately back up with it.  Where does it all come from I wonder?   

I think of his tender little heart.  It accepts everything as it is, and then loves.  That’s what he does.  That’s why he is this way.  Jayce, his name, means, “a healing.”  Jeremy his middle name means “blessed by God.”  He embodies the meaning of his name.  

He is constantly healing, meaning living in the pure love of innocence. He gives it freely, without a trace of fear or scarcity and so it is continually replenished, a blessing from God.  Everywhere he goes, he’s bringing this love with him and leaving it with all those he interacts with.  

He is filled with love and loves to be filled.  He exemplifies the cycle of abundance and it’s healing to be around.  So each morning when I drop him off, he loves. I feel it and I am filled.  He does it because it’s who he is, but for me, it heals me.  

My broken heart feels love, and he fills me with his love from a source that is divine. Through this child that belongs to Him and is cared for by me, for now; we are all blessed and healed.  I drive away feeling loved and filled and ready to do another day.   

If only he knew how much I need him, but he doesn’t need to know that.  I am just grateful to have one more day with him and grateful that he’s here to help me when I need it.  It’s not because it’s his job, but just because he can and because I’ll take it.  

It’s a blessing that I will forever know was given to me just for this time when I needed it the most.